Karl's Story

Written by Christine Ewert and is a completed piece.

This is just a little story I wrote. It takes place after Karl admitted his love for Sal and she ran away from him. (Though I do kind of mix it up because his face has already been healed and such...) Also, this is just what I think should happen, the next comics after the actual one don’t affect this story, and my ending doesn’t affect the real comic.  Though I wish it would! (Sorry, read on.)

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“Karl!” Jason exclaimed, wrenching the bag of chips from his hands. “Depression or not, you can’t just eat your troubles away.”

Karl looked up from his bench outside their apartment up at his neighbor, Jason. “Ok, you caught me. Why do you care, anyway?” Karl muttered.

“Because you’re my best pal, man! This eating will waste you away like last time. Remember that?”

“Sadly, yes.” Karl got up and dusted the crumbs from his lap. He had recently gone through quite a bit, including putting on weight, losing his face to a monster, and getting it healed by a villain.

“Come on now, what’s so wrong?” Jason said with his usual smile. He always seemed to be happy unless his friends were in danger.

“Eh, it’s just Sal. It’s bugging me that she can’t just tell me that she doesn’t like me, she has to go and run away like I’m a monster.”

“Now, now, she doesn’t think that, I’m sure!” Jason put his hand on Karl’s shoulder. Karl lightly shrugged him off, knowing Jason was gay.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to be included in this, I’ll deal with it,” Karl mumbled.

“I can’t just let you be unhappy, Karl, you’re my best friend.”

Karl sighed. He knew that Jason was being kind, but all the same, it bugged him slightly. He wanted to be alone to think for now. “I’ll deal.”

“By eating your cares away?”

“No,” he growled, “Just let me deal.” He turned away from his neighbor.

Jason nodded behind his back with a small frown.

After a slight pause, Karl turned back. “Hey, sorry. I’m just not in the best of moods, you’re being kind and all, and I just want to be alone for now.”

“Sure.” And with that, Jason turned away and left.

Karl walked inside the apartment, leaving the chips on the ground.

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Sal took the stairs to her room slowly. She also lived in Karl and Jason’s apartment, but she was a witch. In fact, just about everything in the apartment was weird. Bob, her normality-loving cousin, was possessed by an evil demon; Jason, the Korean circus performer, was gay; Karl, the black, green haired boy had a machine on his arm that can do about anything; Fred, their female cat, had a crush on Bob; Eddie, a tall, brown haired boy, was just plain nuts; and Sal, the purple/black haired girl, was uncaring in general. They also had 2 other worldly apartment tenants and a portal to other worlds in Karl’s cupboard. Things were just a bit odd around there.

That is why Sal was not surprised to find Eddie in her room, carrying his big mallet and a bunch of buckets. “Eddie, why are you destroying my room?” she asked, tiredly.

He looked at Sal with his playful smile. “I need buckets.”

“WHY do you need buckets?”

“Everyone knows buckets are the natural enemies of chickens! That’s how KFC can get all those chickens without getting their minds controlled!” Eddie exclaimed.

Sal sighed. Eddie had a bit of an obsession with destroying the evil chicken army. Which did not exist to anyone else. “Eddie, I need to be alone for now, okay?”

“OK!” He skipped happily with his mallet and buckets to the door, stopping briefly at Sal. “Hmmmm…” He then jammed a pink bucket over her head. “Now you will be safe from the chicken’s evilness!” Then he bolted away.

Sal pulled the bucket off her head with difficultly. “Ouch.” She set it on the floor and used her magic to close and lock the door. She flopped down on her bed with a sigh.

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“Why Karl all sad and not fun?” Eddie complained.

Karl sat up from the grass he was laying on. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to think you’re boring!”

Jason strolled up to the two, just returning from shopping. He set his bags down on the ground and sat cross-legged by them. “What’s up?”

“Karl is being all unfun again! He hasn’t even distracted me yet!” Eddie whined.

“Still sad?” Jason alleged.

“Yeah, I just can’t seem to get over it,” Karl muttered.

“Why don’t you talk to us about it, then?”

“Maybe you, but not Eddie…”

“FINE!” Eddie exclaimed, pointing a finger at Karl. “But you owe me a distraction! And you don’t get my bucket!” He then jammed a blue bucket on Jason and ran off.

“Ow,” Jason mumbled from in the bucket. Karl helped him pull it off. “Now go on,” he said when freed.

“Mm, should have kept the bucket on you,” Karl chuckled. Jason kept staring at him. “Ok, ok, fine. It’s just; the least she could do is tell me she doesn’t want to date me. Why can’t she do that? Maybe she doesn’t even think I’m ugly, but she makes me guess what she’s thinking, and… augh!” Karl turned the other way. “She really beautiful.”

Jason nodded from behind him, but was frowning. He did want to help Karl, yes, but he also did not like this conversation.

“And she’s a witch. Wouldn’t that be awesome to be with a witch?” Karl laughed without humor.

Yeah, well, I’m a circus performer; I can do some cool tricks, too… Jason closed his eyes and cursed himself for thinking so harshly.

“I really shouldn’t go on and on about this, I should give up on her, she’s nothing,” Karl said stubbornly, suddenly standing.

“Now Karl, don’t give up. She doesn’t hate you. Besides, being friends could still be fun, right? I mean, I’m sure you’ll get a wonderful girl to love you,” Jason said softly, turning Karl to face him.

“Thanks, I needed to hear that. Sorry.” Karl said, smiling. He patted Jason and walked into the apartment.

Jason flopped back down onto the grass, feeling more like crying than smiling.

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Bob, Sal’s possessed cousin, lied on the couch with Fred purring softly on his chest. He stroked her gently. She licked his nose. With a giggle, Bob hugged her close.

“Umm… Am I interrupting something?” Sal said as she came in.

“Wha...No! I was just petting her!” he claimed. “That would be sick!”

Instead of commenting, Sal smiled. Fred looked up at her a moment, and purred louder. She inched up to Bob’s face and licked him on the lips very slowly and deliberately.

Bob tried to keep his face straight, but a huge red splotch gave him away.

Sal giggled and Fred mewed with pleasure.

“That is not funny. I just can’t forget her as a catgirl, ok?” Bob muttered. He pushed her down gently and sat up. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You always act like that when you’re worried. You get quiet and look down all the time.”

Sal pulled up a chair and sat in it. “Yeah, I’m just worried about Karl, he was pretty sad looking over me running away…”

“Um, yeah, if Burgundy ran away from me, I’d be pretty bummed out, too,” Bob muttered as he gave her a look.

“Should I tell him I’m sorry? I really don’t want to be anything more than a friend with him, but… It’s so harsh…”

“H--- yeah, that was harsh!” Bob quieted when his cousin gave him a look. “Yeah, it was harsh, and you should, but, tell him the blunt truth, that would be what I would want if I were him.”

Sal looked down at her feet. “You’re right. I should. Then maybe we all can stop being so depressed all the time.”

“You know, I wasn’t feeling all that depressed until a bit ago… In fact, it wasn’t until Karl was sitting on that bench outside when everything became so serious and not funny at...” Bob suddenly jumped.

“What?” Sal exclaimed.

“Whoa,” her cousin mumbled while rubbing his head, “I just got hit with a pencil really hard…”

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Karl sat on the patch of grass outside. I wonder what I’ll do next, he thought. I wonder where this patch of grass came from. And wow, I have no life. All I do lately is sit outside and do nothing of particular interest until someone comes up and…”

“KAAARRRRLLL!” came an all too familiar cry.

“What is it, Eddie?” he returned with sight annoyance.

“KarlKarlKarlKarlKarl!”

“WHAT IS IT, EDDIE?” he shouted.

“KARL!!!” Eddie screamed, suddenly right beside Karl.

“God, just tell me what it is!”

Eddie fell to his knees beside his neighbor. His eyes became chibi-like and they began to tear up.

“Oh no… What now?”

“I was out at this one meany guy’s farm and I was putting my buckets on his chicken’s heads when this other meany guy and he was like a zookeeper or maybe like an aquarium guy and he came up all like grrrr and he took-ed mah bucket!!!!” Eddie cried without pause. (Yeah, I went there.)

“You went to a guy’s farm and attacked his chickens? Oh, I should have expected that,” Karl sighed.

“Uggg, is Karl STILL all sad and unfun?”

“I’m happy now, Eddie.”

“You don’t sound happy.”

“I am.”

“You don’t look happy.”

“Trust me, I do.”

Eddie jumped on Karl and pulled up his face into a smile. “No, THIS is Happy Karl.” When he let go, Karl brushed him off. “You are Unhappy Karl.”

“Yes, Eddie, I don’t like people grabbing my face! I just got it back!”

“Whatever, Unhappy Karl.”

After a bit of silence, Karl turned to Eddie. “How’s everyone else?” (Yes, he’s been sitting there a while...)

“Bob was with Fred, Sal was talking to him and ignoring me, Saya was off being evil and stuff, and Jason was out juggling,” Eddie reported. (Yes, he’s been stalking everyone.)

Karl nodded, knowing this was normal. “Are they all happy?”

Eddie nodded. “Bob is always happy when Fred is near,” (insert Karl’s giggle here), “Sal is a little grumpy, Saya is… normal..., and Jason is always happy unless you’re unhappy!”

“He is, isn’t he?” Karl mused.

“Yup! He was all sad when you were all depressed and he tried to cheer you up and he fixed your face and he was all friendly when you were all poofy,” (insert Karl’s glare here), “and he stayed with you and brought you food and he called you when he was out and…”

“Alright, alright! He’s awesome.”

“Also, he told me you were his Saya!”

“What?” Karl said, turning at Eddie.

“You’re his Saya! Like Saya makes me happy and you make him happy and stuff!” Eddie smiled.

Karl nodded slowly, deep in thought. “He said that?”

“I no lie to you! I’m honest!” Eddie cried.

“Well thanks, Eddie.”

“Ummmmmm…okkkkkk… I’m gonna go get mah bucket. BUCKETTTT!!!” he cried, pulling his mallet out from nowhere and running off into the bushes. He appeared again ten seconds later. “He’s out on the other side of the apartment.” When Karl looked at him in surprise, Eddie had on that knowing smile.

“Why did you come back?” Karl finally asked.

“……..Bucket is this way…..”

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Jason’s face was contorted in a look of pure concentration as he teetered back and forth on a big beach ball while juggling 5 bowling pins. His hands skillfully nabbed each pin from the air and threw it back up in a never-ending circle. He then stopped throwing them and caught each pin back. With a small jump, he landed on the ball on his hands with his feet high in the air. He laughed as he tried to control the ball’s wild spinning.

“Jason!”

Suddenly he crashed down onto the pins and sent the ball flying. From under his mused-up hair he could see Karl’s legs. “Oh, hey Karl,” he chuckled.

Karl helped him up and picked up the bowling pins.

“What can I do you for?”

“I just wanted to come and thank you. You’ve been the best friend a guy could have, sticking with me at the worst of times and being there to celebrate with me at the best. I don’t know what I would do without you,” Karl grinned, looking deep in his friend’s eyes.

Jason couldn’t help his small silly smile to poke through. He cleared his throat. “Ah, yes, no problem at all, buddy.” His inner self was doing cartwheels at such a compliment.

“Yep, and most importantly, I wanted to thank you for helping me get the courage to ask out Sal again,” Karl proudly stated with that same smile on his face.

Jason’s smile shattered. “Um, uh, yes, of course, good for you,” he said once he found his voice.

“Something wrong?”

“Not at all.” He flashed his friend a small thumbs up.

Karl turned around and waved. “Thanks again.” Soon he disappeared behind the corner.

Jason sighed and fought back tears. He slowly gathered his things off the lawn while deep in thought.

Karl then glomped Jason to the ground. “What?” he exclaimed, completely confused.

“HA! Who am I kidding? That would be a sucky story ending, wouldn’t it be? Can’t believe I got you like that!” Karl laughed, rolling off Jason.

“So…you were joking about asking Sal out?” Jason asked, still in shock.

“Of course!” He exclaimed, pulling Jason into a tight hug. “What do I need her for when I have a great person like you to be with?”

“Be with? Like… the noodles worked?” Jason ventured with a playful smile.

“Well, you ARE a great cook.”

Jason beamed and hugged Karl back lovingly.